He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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