I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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