in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
