And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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