I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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