Ambien. No doubt about it.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize