theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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