New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize