his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
