Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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