carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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