I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
