I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you win again, gameday.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
