I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize