xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
only you would photoshop your dick
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize