this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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