I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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