Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
