My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
