her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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