So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
