He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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