i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize