I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
