i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
