Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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