No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
