it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i think my cat just said my name.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
