I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize