Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
