i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
