All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
