I'm laying in your front yard are you home
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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