Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Found your dick twin last night
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
