You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
this boner is exhausting
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
