im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
