the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize