Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
