Your tits are I can't wait for
I wish I only lived at night.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
