brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
420 ftw
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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