i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
