Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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