I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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