You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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