I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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