Whoa Z and x make the same sound
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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