I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
