The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Randomize
