i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
