does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
