the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
