I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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