Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
