When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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