Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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