Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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