i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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