Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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