I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
