i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
