I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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