DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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