Just cropdusted the office
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
