I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
