I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
