Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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