I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So much rum. So many feels.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
