i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
