if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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